3 Reasons He Didn’t Call You

1. He Has A Girlfriend and/or A Boyfriend
Yea, he flirted and gave you his number but so what, maybe he was just being nice. No one likes being the barer of bad news. He probably has a girlfriend or a boyfriend waiting at home that’s dying to cunt punt the first person they see eyeing their goods.

2. He’s Waiting On You
Not everyone knows how to deal with rejection. He probably wants to call but isn’t sure you’re really into him. Give him a call or at least a text to see what happens. Keep it klassy, I said text not sext. Tip: Less isn’t always more, keep your clothes on.

3. He’s Waiting For A Rainy Day
He probably has a million hussies on his list in front of you. He’s just waiting for a few skanks to drop off before he gets to you. Don’t get upset, life isn’t fair; get your own skanks to keep you occupied.

Whatever the reason, always remember to live klassily.


Life Isn’t Fair, Get Over It.

A few days ago Miss Kia (my car) decided to check into the pearly gates of car heaven. Much to my dismay, her untimely death resulted in a three-hour wait in the frigid cold for roadside assistance. Of course I thought, “why me, did I do something wrong and why now”. Maybe it was divine intervention, frostbite, or hypothermia but I had an epiphany. Life is not fair. No one gets to pick their challenges and hardships. 

Trayvon Martin didn’t get to pick his fate the night he was gunned down by George Zimmerman. Your newly engaged co-worker didn’t decide she wanted to take a leave of absence because she found out she has cancer. I’m sure the homeless guy you passed on your way home from work would rather be at happy hour than begging for cash.

Even if you are super rich, super smart, and super attractive you’re going to have detours, upsets, and times you feel like giving up. Whatever you do, don’t give up. Keep the faith. Success is a journey. Hillary Clinton said it best,

“Always aim high, work hard, and care deeply about what you believe in. And, when you stumble, keep faith. And, when you’re knocked down, get right back up and never listen to anyone who says you can’t or shouldn’t go on.”

If life was fair, we could all eat 100 Chicken McNuggets a Day and win Olympic gold medals. Save your woe is me Facebook rants for your therapist, people have succeeded and failed at every socioeconomic level. success is a journey, strap yourself up and enjoy the bumpy ride.


Three Poisons That Kill Friendships

3 Poisons That Kill Friendships

We’ve all been there; lines are crossed, motives are questioned, and the ebbs & flows of friendship are starting to make you sick to your stomach. Your friend who was once nothing short of a “sister” has you feeling like you’re trapped playing the role of Cinderella, opposite Evil Step Sister.

Here are three poisons that should never come into play on your quest to salvage your friendship and live klassily ever after:

1. Jealousy

There is no room for jealousy in a friendship. Uplifting each other should be a priority. When you feel jealously brewing, don’t project your feelings; look within for a resolution. Consider yourself lucky for having such a great friend. Ask yourself, “why am I unhappy admiring someone else’s brilliance?” or take it a step further, plan a Starbucks date and ask your friend how they became so brilliant.

2. Hidden Agendas

Trying to coddle opportunities to advance your own hidden agendas never ends well. Ask yourself, “do my actions show sincere commitment?” In the event you find yourself going down a divergent path, support and honesty should be the first things you offer. Explore ways you can leverage your divergent paths for the greater good of the friendship.

3. Self Loathe

When you are self-loathing and receive validation from others’ despair; nothing good shall come to you. Get to the bottom of why you are not happy with yourself and address those issues. Learn to validate yourself. No matter the circumstance, always exude positive energy. The return on investment received from being positive is exponentially greater than what you’d get back from being negative.

We all have our own flaws, letting them destroy our friendships or relationships is a choice. When the scope of your friendship is rife with poison, it doesn’t take long for people to find a sure-fire way to exit stage left. Keep it real. Channel your jealous feelings, hidden agendas, and self loathe into motivation to be a better person.


Klassily After Dark – One Night At My Boyfriend’s House

I decided to change into my favorite PJ’s. I put on a long satin pair and plopped onto the couch like a sack of Ore Ida potatoes. The last thing on my mind was enticing anyone.

My boyfriend came over, and slid his hand over my PJ’s. I could tell by the look on his face, he was shocked. He couldn’t stop rubbing my pants. My satin pants struck a nerve. After he recovered from his initial shock he murmured a series of words I’ve never heard before ‘wow, I love your PANTS.’ Never in a million years would I have thought I could woo a guy with just satin pants.

I had to get to the bottom of this conundrum so I asked, “what is it about the pants you like”. He responded, “I LOVE the way they feel and they turn me on”. He then proceeded to pull me into the bedroom, where, well – you can use your imagination.

Interesting how we are taught, less is more. In actuality, it shouldn’t be taken so literally. If less isn’t working, don’t be afraid to explore the realm of more.

-Untitled N. Satin

It Might Be Too Early To Wrap Gifts But Not Safer Sex Kits

Did you know that Washington, DC ranks as the highest in the nation with 3% of its residents having HIV or AIDS? Did you know that for gay and bisexual men, it’s estimated to be as high as 19%?

From 7PM to 9PM at The Green Lantern (1335 Green Court NW), you can come out to not only enjoy Happy Hour specials and great music, but also help fight the spread of HIV in DC!

Upstairs, you, the friends you’ve inevitably invited, and other members of the HIV Prevention Working Group will spend 2 fun-filled hours putting together safer sex kits.

To learn more about the HIV Working Group visit them on Facebook or on Twitter.

Our Pinoy Paisanos: 16 Ways You Can Help The Philippines

Here are 16 ways your can help The Philippines

I've Got a Lovely Bunch of Coconuts


Anyone who has ever worked on ships has, without a doubt, worked with dozens of Filipinos. They are our co-workers, our friends and our family.

Over the weekend our ship life paisanos were faced the devastating destruction of their home. One of the strongest storms in recorded history, Typhoon Haiyan, killed an estimated 10,000 people. To put that number into perspective combine the casualties from Hurricane Katrina, Hurricane Sandy and 9/11… and double it.

Between managers, A/V crew and random friendly faces in the staff bar, I have a long list of Filipinos who hold a special place in my heart. So as I watched the death toll climb as Typhoon Haiyan ripped through the islands, I held my breath and prayed for my friends.


I have sent messages to some and not heard back from any. So what can I do to help while I wait to hear from…

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Bring Your Canned Goods To Smith Commons Tonight

smith commonsI will be hosting my final Cocktail and Charity happy hour. Please bring your canned goods and join me for a cocktail at Smith Commons. Happy hour starts at 4:30 and ends at 7. If you’re taking a taxi, download Hailo and use promo code, “FOODDRIVE” for $5 off your fare.


Justin Tucker’s Rooftop Proposal

This has got to be one of the best proposals i’ve ever seen. Rooftop, candles, and an impeccable view. Who could say no?

Shawn Hubbard / Photographer - Blog

I’ll go out on a limb here and assume that everyone reading this knows I photograph professional football.

I’d guess guess that some number of you also know that I photograph people not actually playing football…weddings, engagement shoots, that sort of thing.

Normally separate, occasionally those two worlds overlap when I photograph a wedding for a Ravens staff member or player.

There was some overlap Friday night when I had the opportunity to photograph the super-top-secret proposal of Ravens kicker Justin Tucker to his girlfriend Amanda.

Justin asked me a while back if I would be interested in documenting this important event for him and photographing a proposal is something I’ve always wanted to do, so I was all in.

He planned a dinner for the two of them at Wit and Wisdom in the Four Seasons in Harbor East. At the end of dinner, Justin excused himself to go…

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Here’s A Tip About Experiencing The Better Parts Of Life…

Don’t wait for anyone! Just go and do it. Make that dinner reservation at the restaurant you’ve always wanted to go to. Plan that trip to the destination that you’ve dreamed about. Head to the gym when it’s best for you. The worst thing you can do is worry about doing it alone. You’ll fine that once you start everyone will want to join you, and while you’re there, there’s always someone to keep you company.